


We're Not Okay

by Pic_Septiceye



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Blood and Violence, Depression, M/M, some gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17084129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pic_Septiceye/pseuds/Pic_Septiceye
Summary: Something is wrong with Virgil. Very, very wrong. What can the others do to help?





	1. Virgil?

“Virgil?” Patton asks. The darker trait was staring at the floor, his breathing ragged and choked. He looked up and Patton screamed. Virgil’s dark eyes were vacant, and blood streaked his face like tears. “Ì`m šõrrÿ, Vįrgīł čāń’t tåłk.” The voice was coming from Virgil’s mouth, but it wasn’t Virgil’s voice. “Hę'ś míñė ńōw. Hē ïš Ãñtî'ś prøpërtÿ.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VIRGIL  
I woke up unusually early, around eight in the morning. I felt odd like something was wrong. I figured I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I went through my morning routine, trying to push away the growing feeling of dread inside of me. 

‘What the heck?’ I thought to myself. I took a deep breath, ‘I’m fine. Everything will be fine.’ I went through the breathing exercises Talyn taught Thomas to help him calm down, but it didn’t work. So, I tried again. Breathe in for four seconds, hold my breath for seven seconds, breathe out for eight seconds. It didn’t work the second time, either.‘I don’t want to worry Patton...maybe I’ll ask Logan for help.’ I walked down the stairs carefully, I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Just as I reached the bottom step, I lost my footing and my vision blurred. The last thing I saw was Patton rushing over to me.

PATTON  
I woke up right on time today! Eight o’clock, sharp! I went through my morning routine and began fixing breakfast for the other three. Logan was awake when I got downstairs, reading the newspaper. 

“Good morning, Logan! How did you sleep? Did you sleep well?” I asked happily, getting out some eggs and frozen bacon. 

“Quite well, yes. What about you, Patton?” Logan asked, looking up from his paper and focusing on the smaller male. 

“I slept fantastically! Thanks for asking!” Patton smiled widely as he began cooking. After about half an hour passed, everything was ready. “I’m gonna go get Virgil!” Patton told Logan happily. 

‘I hope he slept well!’ Patton thought, walking from the kitchen to the stairs. Just as he got there, he saw Virgil. Before he could get a word out, Virgil fell down the last step, landing hard. Patton rushed over to Virgil, worried beyond words. Virgil got on his hands and knees, looking away from the bright and happy side. 

“Virgil?” Patton asked. The darker trait was staring at the floor, his breathing ragged and choked. He looked up and Patton screamed. Virgil’s dark eyes were vacant, and blood streaked his face like tears.

“Ì`m šõrrÿ, Vįrgīł čāń’t tåłk.” The voice was coming from Virgil’s mouth, but it wasn’t Virgil’s voice. “Hę'ś míñė ńōw. Hē ïš Ãñtî'ś prøpërtÿ.” Patton teared up, looking at the darker side he considered a friend…a son, even.

“Virgil…come back. Please.” Patton practically begged. ‘Virgil’ looked back at the floor, his breathing still ragged and shallow. His head shook violently, snapping back and forth until he collapsed entirely. Patton rushed to Virgil’s side, holding him close. “Oh, Virgil…what happened?” 

LOGAN  
I ran into the living room when I heard Patton scream, hoping he wasn’t hurt. What met my eyes was a horrific sight. Virgil was face-up in Patton's’ lap, blood streaking his face like tears. Patton was sobbing and holding Virgil close, most likely getting blood on his clothes. I rushed over to Patton after the shock subsided. 

“Patton...what happened?” I asked, gently placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder. Patton turned to me, his face streaked with tears, his eyes still watering. 

“V-Virgil...he...stairs, fell...wasn’t him, wasn’t him…” Patton choked out. I was confused, but I figured Virgil had fallen down the stairs and something had happened. I held Patton’s face gently in my hands, turning him towards me. 

“Patton, take a deep breath. I need to know what happened so I can help.” I explained as calmly as I could. I was so incredibly worried for Virgil and for Patton, but now was not the time to show it. Patton took several deep breaths, his voice coming to him. He told me what happened as I sat there, dumbfounded. 

“I have one idea of what it might be...but you don’t want to know,” I said. 

“What is it? Oh, please tell me, Logan! I have to save my son!” Patton practically yelled. I took a deep breath. 

“I’m afraid Virgil is experiencing...depression.”


	2. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Depression affects everyone.

VIRGIL   
I woke up with a pounding headache. There was something cold, very cold, on my head. I opened my eyes and was surprised to find the room I was in dark. I slowly reached up and took the cold thing off my forehead. It was an ice pack. 

‘Huh? Why do I have an ice pack on my head…? How did I get here?’ I thought warily, trying to remember the last thing I did. I heard a chuckle from the corner of the dark room and whipped my head around to where it came from. My head pounded harder and my vision faded in-and-out for a moment. When my eyes refocused, I saw a tall, dark...thing standing beside the bed. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Suddenly I was gasping for breath as the thing laughed. 

“Öħ Ɣįŕġĩļ, ŷōű ňǎįvë føøĺ!” It said in a horrifying voice, “Śøøŋ, ŷøũ ẃɨļļ þė ḿɨɲə” I was shaking so hard I fell out of the bed. I still couldn’t breathe. Everything was fading. I heard someone running towards wherever I was. The thing heard it, too, because it turned to me and said, “Ťėľľ ńŏŏńę. Ăńŷøńė ŷōŭ ťěłł ŵĭĭľ ďĭě.” Just like that, it was gone. I gasped for breath as the bedside lamp flickered on, just as Patton burst into the room. I looked around, realizing that I was in Patton’s room. 

‘How did something so dark, so sinister, get in Patton’s room? It must be incredibly powerful.’ I looked at Patton. His soft, kind eyes. His eyes, so full of care and love. ‘I have to protect them. I have to protect him.’ I thought decisively. I wouldn’t tell anyone about this, not even Patton. This was my secret. Noone is going to be hurt because of me. 

PATTON  
“What do you mean, depression?!” I practically yelled at Logan. I felt bad for yelling, and usually, I don’t, but this was my son. My everything. Logan gently squeezed my shoulder, trying to reassure me. I looked bad down at Virgil. 

‘I need him so much...I have to protect him. I have to defeat whatever caused this.’ I thought decisively. Logan cleared his throat softly.

“Patton...go get some clean clothes on. I’ll take care of Virgil, then we can talk, ok?” 

“No! I want to stay with him. What if he wakes up and I’m not there? What if he gets scared? What if-” 

“Virgil will be scared if he wakes up to see you, stained with his blood. Please, Patton, get changed. I’ll even put Virgil in your room if you like.” He said gently. I nodded weakly, letting Logan pick Virgil up from my lap. I sat there awhile once Logan was gone with Virgil. Silent tears streaked my face as I stared at the adjacent wall, terrified of what could happen to my son.


	3. Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan shares his point of view and reveals something huge.

LOGAN  
I took Virgil to Patton’s room, gently laying him on the floor so I wouldn’t get blood on Patton’s bed. I left Virgil there a moment, returning with a damp washcloth. I took off Virgil’s clothing, leaving him clad in underwear. I grabbed a pair of Patton’s sleeping pants and, as carefully as I could, I put them on Virgil. I then took the damp washcloth and wiped down Virgil’s face, hands, and chest. 

‘How did he produce this much blood? This can’t be normal depression…’ As I got the last bit of blood off, I noticed Virgil was shaking. I checked his temperature with the back of my hand, it was hot to the touch. I walked briskly to the kitchen, grabbing a small bag of ice. As I passed the living room, I noticed Patton on the floor, having not moved since I took Virgil from him. I sighed internally, quickly returning to Virgil. I picked him up, laying him on Patton’s bed. I covered him up with the comforter and placed the makeshift ice pack on his forehead. I turned off the lights and left, closing the door with a soft click. I returned to Patton, who was still in the same position in which I had left him. I walked up slowly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, turning to face me, a fake smile quickly overtaking his face. 

“Hey, Lo! Sorry, I was just thinking a bit. I’ll go change now!” I shook my head.

“Patton...you don’t have to fake a smile for my benefit. I’m...I’m worried about Virgil, too. But please, don’t try to hide your pain in front of me.”

“What are you trying to say, Lo?” Patton asked, standing and reaching for my hand. I didn’t stop him. 

“I…” I stumbled for words, something that rarely happens. It had to be his eyes. His gorgeous, mismatched eyes. Or maybe it was his beautiful, curly hair hat distracted me? Maybe his lips, just begging for me to kiss them. “I love you, Patton.” Patton’s eyes widened.

‘Oh God, does he not feel the same way?’ I thought, terrified. ‘I never should have opened up. I should’ve kept my feelings to myself, I should’ve-’ 

Then, we were kissing. It felt like sparks were soaring around me, emanating from my lips and his. Butterflies flew from my stomach, making me feel lighter than air. I wrapped my arms around Patton’s waist pulling him closer to me, as close as possible. Just as suddenly as it started, it ended. But the feeling of happiness didn’t.

“I love you, too, Logan.” I smiled wider than I ever had before. A real, genuine smile. I picked Patton up, twirling him around like a ballerina. His laughter filled my ears, making me smile wider if that was possible. As the spinning slowed, I hugged Patton close.


	4. Is Anyone Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm fine, everything's fine...or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary is lame, I know XD sorry guys, I just wanted to get an update in before school tomorrow. I feel bad for the lack of updates lately, but I'm trying to get better! Promise!

PATTON  
I stared at the wall for what seemed like hours but must’ve been only a couple of minutes. Still long enough to make my legs hurt. I only realized I was spacing out when Logan placed his hand on my shoulder. I jumped slightly, not expecting the contact, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I quickly plastered a smile on my face. ‘I can’t let Logan know I’m not okay…’ 

“Hey, Lo! Sorry, I was just thinking a bit. I’ll go change now!” I said as convincingly as I could. Logan shook his head gently. 

“Patton...you don’t have to fake a smile for my benefit. I’m...I’m worried about Virgil, too. But please, don’t try to hide your pain in front of me.” I was shocked for a second. What was Logan saying? He’s showing emotions? Does he like me? Like like me? 

“What are you trying to say, Lo?” I asked, standing and taking Logan’s hand. 

“I…” Logan? Stumbling for words? “I love you, Patton.” My eyes went wide from shock. I stopped and stared at him for a moment. He looked...scared. Then, I leaned in and kissed him. My tummy felt butterflies and my head was fuzzy with happiness. I pulled away, realizing I needed to say something. 

“I love you, too, Logan,” I said with a smile. Logan smiled, too. He picked me up and twirled me around. I laughed like I hadn’t laughed before! ‘I’ve never been this happy…’ I thought as Logan put me down, hugging me. 

There was a thud. My eyes snapped open and I untangled myself from Logan, bolting to my room. I slammed the door open and saw Virgil on the floor, gasping for air. I was beside him in a millisecond. 

“Virgil? Breathe, hun. In, out. In, out. That’s it, good job!” I said as his breathing steadied. It was then that I noticed Logan had followed me. He placed his hand gently on Virgil’s shoulder. 

“Virgil...we’re here to help. Please, let us help.” Logan said almost pleadingly. Virgil looked up at us, fear etched into every one of his features. He shrugged Logan’s hand off.

“No. No, you can’t help. You can’t help me.” He said, tears in his eyes. He stood up wobbly, slowly making his way to his room. 

“Virgil! Don’t go to your room! It’ll only make things worse!” I pleaded with him, tears in my eyes as well.

“Virgil, going into your room could cause your depressive state to heighten to an unbearable point,” Logan said, back to his cool, calculated self. Virgil stopped dead in his tracks. 

“My what?” He asked.

“Y-your depression, kiddo…” I said, starting to walk towards him. His arm snapped back, his palm out, telling me to stop. Logan pulled me back. 

“My what?” He asked again with much more malice. 

“Your depression, Virgil. Don’t try to hide it, we kn-” Virgil cut Logan off with a scream. 

“I don’t need your help! I’m not your ‘kiddo’! I’m a grown ass man and I can deal with this myself!” He screamed, running the rest of the way to his room and slamming the door.


	5. Depression, the Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is still plagued with depression, and there's nothing he can do.

VIRGIL  
My thoughts were cut short by the door to Patton’s room being slammed open. Someone was next to me, but I didn’t know who, my vision was still fuzzy and I was confused. 

“Virgil? Breathe, hun. In, out.” I breathed in with the voice, but couldn’t hold it long. “In, out. That’s it, good job!” I got my breathing under control and realized it was Patton next to me, with Logan next to him. Logan placed his hand on my shoulder, it felt like the heaviest thing in the world.

“Virgil...we’re here to help. Please, let us help.” 

‘You can’t help me. No One can. This is my problem, and my problem alone.’ I looked up at them, fear plastered on my face. ‘I have to protect them.’ I made my face fall flat. ‘They can’t know I’m scared...they need to stay away! I have to…’ I shrugged Logan’s hand off. 

“No. No, you can’t help. You can’t help me.” I said. Despite myself, I had tears in my eyes. I stood up, my legs heavier than lead and my head lighter than air. I started making my way to my room. 

“Virgil! Don’t go to your room! It’ll only make things worse!” 

‘I’m sorry, Patton…’ 

“Virgil, going into your room could cause your depressive state to heighten to an unbearable point,” 

‘I’m sorry, Logan…’ I stopped moving, as if I was mad. 

“My what?” I asked, trying to find malice in my voice. 

“Y-your depression, kiddo…” Patton said. I could tell he was about to cry, it hurt me more than anything else I’d ever done. I love Patton, he’s my dad. But this was for his own good.

“My what?” I asked, finding the malice. 

“Your depression, Virgil. Don’t try to hide it, we kn-” 

I started screaming. I don’t know what I said, but I know I stormed into my room after it. I slammed my door shut and instantly regretted it. My head started pounding and I fell to my knees. I looked around, trying to find something that could help, but there was nothing. I crawled to my bed, tears streaking my face. I couldn’t get up, I was stuck. I laid on the floor and sobbed. 

‘I’m sorry, Patton, Logan...I’m sorry, I’m sorry…’ 

“Oh, shut up, you pathetic brat.” A voice said. 

‘I’m sorry, Patton. I’m sorry, Logan. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…’ 

“You are disgustingly horrid.” It said, pushing me off my bed. I fell to the floor with a thud. I didn’t even try to get up. 

“Just do it already,” I said, defeated. It was silent for a moment.

“Oh, Virgil…” I said sympathetically. “I’m not done toying with you yet!” It said with a laugh, kicking me in my side. I let out a grunt but didn’t move. 

‘Whatever, I’ll just do it myself.’ 

“Virgil, you idiot. I am a part of you. I can hear your thoughts. I won’t let you kill yourself, not yet.” I stood up while the thing was talking, walking over to my nightstand. “What are you doing? Getting your teddy?” It laughed again, following me and poking at me. I ignored the pokes, focusing on my plan. I opened the drawer, taking out a false panel in the bottom. “Wait, what? I didn’t know about that! But...I’m in your head! I know everything!” I pulled out my gun from its hiding place. I aimed it at the thing, square in the chest. 

“No, you don’t.” 

BOOM!


End file.
